I was baptized a Christian when I was young and I have believed in the Christian faith my entire life, as it runs in the family and I have been supported all the way. I’ve always believed that I can be completely open with my family about our religion and have open, unstructured discussion about the Bible; the whole thing was a learning process for all of us. This is what was normal to me; I was comfortable in this environment and felt that it was okay to do this.
Being so comfortable with my religion and how my family handles it, being put into an environment where the rules of the game changed was very difficult for me. I was dating a guy who was living with his friend’s family. I grew very close to them and completely overlooked the fact that they were Jehovah Witnesses; this meant nothing to me, seeing as we never openly discussed religion. One night, however, I went to go see my boyfriend at the house after work and he told me they were waiting for me to begin their Bible study to introduce me to their faith. I openly and respectfully declined, yet they insisted I stay. I did stay, however, it was very uncomfortable as it seemed like we were in school, having to raise our hands to ask questions since I am accustomed to just being open and asking them for discussion sake. It was very structured and I did partake in some of their activities, but certain things I did draw the line and respectfully declined. I had no problem with their way of studying the Bible; I did think their structured environment worked for them and they seemed to be getting more out of it this way, but I felt uncomfortable seeing as religion is something I hold near and dear to me and I feel it should be openly discussed as a family with no limitations-as long as you’re learning about the Bible from one another and growing religiously.
There have been many situations I’m sure we’ve all been in, but in this situation, I learned a lot about myself. When we are placed in situations that we aren’t accustomed to being in, I think that’s the best opportunity, as uncomfortable as it may seem, for us to grow and gain a better understanding of our own identity. In my situation, I appreciated that my family was more open about religion and that I had my family there to push me to learn what I could and encourage me to grow in that aspect. This situation is just one that we can be placed in; there are so many others that we can and probably have been placed in that show us who we really are through observing who those around us are and how they live their lives. The most important thing, in my opinion, is that we can be true to ourselves; it’s a sure-fire way for us to find out who we are first-hand, rather than turning to others to tell us who they think we are or how they want us to be.
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I really enjoyed reading your post as I can defiantly relate to what you went through. I was raised as a Catholic however in the last two years I converted to Christianity, in doing so I didn’t get much support from my family. However I did get a lot of support from fellow Christians and church members. I think it is so important to stand your ground when it comes to what you believe in, however I also think that it is very important that you respect what other people believe. I think that you handled the situation with class and dignity and I don’t know many people who would have been able to do the same, I respect that. I also think that it is very true what you said that you have to go through something like that sometimes to appreciate and understand what you have. I also think that it is when we are in the most trying situations that are true colors come out, you showed that even when your in a challenging situation you can hold your head up high and stay true to yourself.
ReplyDeleteIt must have felt really awkward when you went to the different religions bible study. You were so used of the way you did your bible studies in your religion. The way you said you handled it and respectfully declined certain activities was very self composed and classy. I believe this was the right way to handle something when you are put in a situation like this. I never had to deal with something like this, but I did go with one of my friends to her church. She was a Mormon and always begged me to go with her on Sundays. So I finally decided to go, I thought why not it can be an experience. It wasn’t as bad as I was expecting because I’ve always heard of certain things Mormons believe in. But their Sunday service was just like a Christian churches service, except it had different variations. What I noticed most was the length of the service; it was over 4 hours long. I never went back again but I’m glad I gave it a chance, it made me realize what I liked about my religion; I appreciate it a lot more.
ReplyDeleteI think that your decision to stay with your boyfriends family while they were having that meeting is very honorable, I would not have stayed if it were me. My family is also very open when we have our family discussions about religion. If I were put into that situation and I was uncomfortable with being in that setting with them then whether they wanted me to stay or not I would have left, respectfully letting them know that I was uncomfortable. I have never been in a situation where I had to learn about someone else’s religion against my wishes. If I were to be in that situation however, I would most likely find myself just as uncomfortable. I think that if they wanted you to learn about their religion that they should have approached you in a different way and made it comfortable for you. I understand that that is the way that they have their bible studies on a regular basis but since it was a special circumstance with you they should have tried to make you as comfortable as possible. If it were me wanting to teach my boyfriend or one of my friends about my religion I would try to make it as easy-going and comfortable as possible. On the other hand too, if you were not comfortable you are less likely to actually learn and take anything from the meeting. Still though, I commend you for staying and experiencing that with them, even though I would not have done it myself.
ReplyDeleteI learned so much from your blog. I do not think I have ever been placed in a religious situation like yours, but I think I would feel the same. And although I cannot relate to any situation like you, you give me a good sense of how I would have felt and what I would have done if I would have been on your shoes in that moment. I am not accustom to practice the bible very much; however, I do not think it will be my knowledge to be introduced with other religious which I have never thought to intervene with. I also agree with you that this event cause you to appreciate your religion more. I believe the same thing would have happened to me too. I was raised a catholic and I respect every other religion, of course I have never even try to take the chance on practicing any other religion in any way or matter. This situation, sure gave you the heads up on what to learn in life and what to appreciate. Many young people take religion as a normal thing of life and they only understand the basics, they do not really understand that at times this can mean the connection between the families. Your blog made me realize that there are many situation in life where we have been placed and have felt so uncomfortable. However, such situation are placed in our lives in other for us to pass the obstacles and keep moving appreciating what we have been given and accepting who we are.
ReplyDeleteI too am a Christian, and my family openly discusses the bible. Growing up I lived with my mom and we went to Open Bible Christian Center, which is non denominational, I loved that church. I moved to Lancaster in 2007 to go to college here, and my dad and his family are Christians as well, but they are baptists, and this was a very different way to look at Christianity for me. They have rules for going to church and being involved in the activities, which I would think would shut people off first coming into it, but they are one of the biggest churches out here. I respect their beleifs and ways, I just do not fully agree with them. I do not feel that God cares what you wear to church for he sees you all the time, and I do not feel that he cares what we have pierced, because what is the difference of a nose piercing and an ear peircing? There isn't one. As I said, I do not mean any of this with disresepct, I just do not agree. I beleive in God, and I beleive that one must live by the commandments. It states in the bible that we must not judge, and when I walk into the church I feel like everyone is judging me, maybe it is conviction. I think that it is good to sometimes go out of your comfort zone because you can learn from it, and appreciate what you have, and how you were raised. It could bring you to realizations you may have never had. I think it is good to know about other religions, because people will argue with you, and it is good to have a good reasoning. Also you can teach other people of religion, which is one of the reasons we were put on earth. Not forcefully, but to an extent that they want to hear more and learn more and one day that may turn into a beleif and a life change.
ReplyDeleteI really liked your post because I can completely relate to what you are discussing. I come from a Christian family that values it faith while also respecting that of others. I have never dated anyone not of my faith but I have had many friends that believed other faiths or did not believe them at all and the best thing that we did so as to remain friends was to not talk about it. Sometimes I feel like it is too awkward for people to talk about such topics because even in families opinions can differ and so it is often best not to talk about it. I can understand that it was a good growing experience for you but for myself I can only admire your restraint because I do not think I could actually sit and have someone try to “inform” me about something that I feel so strongly about. I do think it it important that people respect individuals religious beliefs and other beliefs but I also think that the most respectful thing we can do for each other is to not talk about it because for many of us if we talked about those kind of things we probably would not remain friends. In these types of situations therefore it is best to avoid such discussions to keep valuable friendships.
ReplyDeleteWoah! That was a good experience that you added to back up your opinion. That is a very tough situation to be put into especially when you are so close to someone and you are trying to keep their feelings from getting hurt. I have never had a boyfriend with different beliefs but, like I have said before being a relationship with someone of different beliefs can be very difficult. Although what I do struggle with from time to time is living with my family mother and step father who both call themselves Catholics. We have conversations from time to time and it can really get frustrating when they do not want a part of what you are trying to share with them. So the fact that you have that relationship with your family is just so admiring. I wish I could have that but, God puts us in different situations for a reason. You handled that situation very well though, I honestly do not know how I would of handled and whether I would of stayed or not. If and when I ever have a situation similar to yours I think I would try my best to let the others know where I stand and although I respect their beliefs I know the truth and that is what matters to me.
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