There is a saying that my parents live by as it pertains to finding someone for me to spend the rest of my life with: “You always marry someone who is exactly like your father”. In that aspect, there are various kinds of people my parents would reject as my spouse. My father is someone who covers many parts of a personality spectrum: he has a professional side as he is holding down a job at a title company, and he has a completely different rebellious side as he is a member of a motorcycle gang. My parents obviously want me to find someone who fits my dad’s professional aspect; however, I have lost tremendous respect for my father over the past month or so and this has made me completely turn against this idea, seeing the person her really is deep down inside. I think there are many of us, myself included, that have been in several relationships that my parents didn’t approve of for one reason or another, and looking back, I see that they were right. My parents, as does any parent out there, want the very best for their children, and more often than not, no one is ever “good enough” for their child; however, they grow to approve of their child’s happiness. Although, we do tend to see issues, not with accepting the person, but the rejection of the relationship altogether. Young people seem to be “falling in love” at ages that seem to be getting smaller and smaller, which causes them to become too serious in a relationship and leading to many problems down the road. This is partially responsible for the increase rate of young teenage pregnancies and even failing marriages. With the 50% divorce rate in the country, young romance may be the culprit; people are looking for their high school sweetheart, thinking they’re going to spend the rest of their lives together and live the fairy tale “happily ever after”, when in reality, they have a greater risk of seeing their marriage end in divorce.
The story, “Marriage is a Private Affair” sheds light on the disapproval of a marriage between two people from different tribes. I related this idea to the, now seemingly old-fashioned, interracial relationships. Personally, I have dated outside my ethnicity and see no problem; I don’t see a difference in another human being due to the color of their skin or their cultural background. Some members of my family frown on my belief, maintaining the idea that it’s wrong to date outside your ethnicity, and, especially in my family, outside my religious beliefs. I personally hold true to my religious beliefs and if my spouse doesn’t agree, I don’t see that as a reason not to marry him. Now in our society, interracial relationships are very common and are often accepted, which is completely different than the perspective portrayed in this short story. As a society, we seem to become more accepting to these changes in the content of what makes up a proper marriage, which I think just might be a step toward complete ethnic equality.
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I respect your opinion on the aspect of newer generations getting involve in relationships at a younger age, but if we take this into consideration, the parents might have a little bit of fault on this. Although the teenagers are getting pregnant we also have to notice that our percentage rate among divorces has a greater percentage between the ages of 30 and 40, so don’t you think that the teenagers would have had a divorce before that age? Either way I do agree that the focus for the newer generations should be preventing pregnancy because it is happening very rapidly.
ReplyDeleteI also feel strange when you speak about the kind of husband your parent would like for you. My mother has never said that, but that is very interesting. I think it would be a good idea to have a husband that might have a good partial connection to your father, but I think he should have his own personality and life as to be completely the opposite of your father. Well in my case I would love for my husband and father to get along, but I would hate having them both on the same string.
I agree with you on the interracial relationships. I do not think there is anything bad with joining a different race, however, I do think it is important to carry on the same religious believes , moral values and relationship understanding, as the difference between these subjects might just cause a very destructive relationship.
I enjoyed reading your blog. I think that it is fun to read what different people's takes are on this topic. I'm also a firm believer that any good parent would really want the best for their children. I've also heard that saying that says women will grow up and end up marrying a person just like their father. But in many cases I could see that as not being true. I guess it all would depend on what sort of father the person had and whether or not the person wanted a real change from what they grew up with. Those were some interesting points that you brought out regarding the “young love” thing. It does seem that people are “falling in love” at younger and more younger ages these days. I can see how this can lead to a lot of the marital problems in the world today. Not to say those that marry their high school sweethearts always end up in a sour marriage, but for many, I think it would be a good idea to wait till one is more wise and experienced before jumping into such important decisions in life. I think marriage is too big a step to act rashly about it.
ReplyDeleteAmen sister! I think that, for once, I agree with every single word in someone’s blog. I loved everything you said! And I’m right there with you when it comes to marrying someone like my father. I don’t want to go around looking for a clone of daddy, but I think that my father is the picture of a real man. Gets up and leaves at six every day and comes home at seven every night. I’ve never dated a guy who respected women as much as my father. It’s going to be hard to keep up with finding a man like my father, simply because there are probably only two left in the entire universe. Lol and as far as your family frowning upon interracial relationships, I can say that my family members also harbour this kind of prejudice. I’m sure neither of our families are racist, but I think that they are stuck on the old fashioned ways of marriage. My boyfriend wants to get a tattoo, and I’m so afraid that my parents will not like him anymore simply because of it. They said they wouldn’t (of course) but I think I know that they will only judge him from now on. It’s sad that some parents aren’t flexible when it comes to changing times.
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