There are some instances in life that cause us to act out of our own character, either for our own personal gain or anothers. Peer pressure is common during adolescence since this is the time where we struggle for acceptance from those around us. I can recall several events where I have been guilty of acting in a way I know I’m not. It was a stupid mistake of mine, but I felt the change after my freshman year in high school. My freshman year was a very tough time in my life as I went through horrible events that I could never wish upon anyone. At that point, I simply wanted to fit in with whoever would have me. After I got through my freshman year, I built friendships with a group of kids that were at least a year older than I was. I spent the entire summer with these people I considered to be my close friends, being relatively close to one in particular. My family accepted him as my good friend and with me being as naive as I was at that age, I thought this was an opportunity to build a strong bond with all of them and a chance for me to start over after a rough first year of high school. However, at the time, I wasn’t quite aware that they were into drugs, drinking and having unprotected sex and I was beginning to get sucked into their lifestyle. I would never partake in drinking and doing drugs with them, but I began to accept it after being around these “friends” that I just wanted acceptance from despite the fact that I have always, and I feel I’ll forever be, completely against everything they did. However, as the summer went on, the pressure slowly fell on me to join them. At that point, knowing that they wouldn’t accept me and these people I was with, I began to separate myself from my family, being secretive and deceptive towards them, which I feel was the biggest mistake I made. If it weren’t for those who I found to be my true friends, I believe that I would have gotten myself into serious trouble and I wouldn’t be where I am today. I would have ended up in the same predicament they’re in; high school drop outs, having court dates, attending AA meetings, or even pregnant. Needless to say, the one my family and I trusted the most and had the most influence on my life at the time completely disappeared after I lost their acceptance since I knew there was no way I would sink so low as to ruin my high school career to be like them.
Although this seems to be a typical story of struggling to fit in with the high school crowds, this really had a strong impact on my life. This experience along with my entire freshman year taught me that I need to put myself and my values and morals first before anyone else. In a way, I feel that deep down I knew that I should have done that to begin with, but I think the desire to fit in and start anew was too overwhelming that it did distort my thoughts and feelings. It’s a tough lesson for some to learn, myself included and even to this day I sometimes struggle with wanting to put others needs before my own. However, now I’ve learned how to distinguish which scenarios are important enough to put others before myself and I know that no one is worth lowering my standards and morals just to satisfy an instant gratification in making a friend.
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I loved reading your blog it easy easy to connect with your story because we have all been in high school and faced our fair share of peer pressure. I was very fortunate in the fact that I had built in best friends that I went to high school with so it was a lot easier for me to stay away from the temptations of peer pressure and trying to fit in. I am really glad that you made it out of those darker days, I know it is really hard when all you want is to be wanted. I have a sister who is entering high school and I fear for her everyday that she will get dragged into drugs, sex, and alcohol. I think it is extremely important to remember your worth and importance. It is easier said than done, but true friends are the ones who love us for you we are not what they want us to be. One of my missions is to empower young girls to be confident and know that they deserve respect and to set their standards high. I want to stop the per pressure epidemic, big task for one person, but I think we as women should all band together on this mission. I loved how open and honest you were in your blog.
ReplyDeleteYour blog was a really great read. I totally understand when people talk about their high school problems that it's not that big of a deal but it really is, thats where you can start to have good habit or have really bad habits. High school is a place where someone starts to establish themselves as a person. It is such a good thing that realized early that you didn't want to end making dumb choices now that could effect you into the future. I used to have a best friend who was smarter than alot of her trouble maker friends but she still did some thing toostupid for me to want to do and she made some bad decisions and I had to take myself away from it and now her life isn't what it could of been and I'm glad I got myself away from just like you were in your blog. It takes alot to break away from the crowd and do what you think is right and your brave and strong for doing that.
ReplyDeleteI felt that your blog post was really relevant, not just to myelf but to others, it is too bad that you cannot send this out to high school kids because I think for some it would make a difference in their lives. I can honestly say I know exactly how you felt because I also had a really difficult time assimilating to high school and finding where you fit in. Sadly, at that point in our lives I think most of us are more worried about having people to hang out with at lunch than whether or not we are benefiting ourselves. I know how hard it is to turn away from friends when you know that they are not influencing you in a good way and I think it is really great that you were able to do that when so many wouldn’t have. For myself it has always been hard to find a balance between reaching my goals in terms of school and doing normal “young adult” things, but I guess that is the real issue, finding a balance so you do not miss out on normal experiences yet not crossing a line that will ruin your hopes and dreams. I think we all at some point in our lives have friends that cross the line a little too much and I can honestly say for myself that I was tempted to try things that I knew were not good for me just because my friends were doing it and they seemed to be having so much fun. Looking back I can see that I was smarter not to take so many unecesaary risks because like in you situations many of my friends that were into drugs and drinking are now pregnant or working at a dead end job at a fast food place, so in the end even though it is harder to turn away from your friends it can sometimes be the best and only option.
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